I CHOSE TO RUN…

Partly inspired by my first 5K run, this intense, long, soliloquy revolves around 4 simple words:  “I chose to run” and what they mean on different levels.

 

I chose to run

From the demons that mocked me,

And chose to relish my pain for fun,

 

I chose to run,

To prove them, detractors wrong,

And claim the identity I deserved so long,

 

I chose to run,

A metaphorical 5K because,

I’d rather believe in a cause,

 

I chose to run,

When I started training and felt the pain,

For I knew it was the only way to remain sane,

 

I chose to run,

Despite knowing the world was conspiring to knock me down,

For I knew I’d nothing to lose but sorrows to drown,

 

I chose to run,

In pursuit of the truth and relief,

Like a blind man desperately in search of belief,

 

I chose to run,

Despite my blisters, wounds and aching feet,

For I’d decided, I’d go down fighting than retreat,

 

I chose to run,

The first two kilometers, at a steady pace,

Like the impressions that my hand had traced,

 

I chose to run,

Taking it all in, the scents, the sounds,

The unlined crumpled tissue, my battleground,

 

I chose to run,

Ahead, like you and leave behind,

The time you thought I’d lost my mind,

 

I chose to run,

Directionless without a rudder,

Like my poetry, getting murkier and darker,

 

I chose to run,

To remind myself I still could,

Change everything and still feel good,

 

I chose to run,

Not knowing where or how far I had gone,

Like the ramblings, I translate into poems and songs,

 

I chose to run,

Not knowing what came next or if I’d make it,

Releasing myself from the holds or did I fake it?

 

I chose to run,

Until I could feel no more,

My legs now pumping mechanically,

I chose to run,

Across those pages till they tore,

My hands gripping the pencil too tightly,

 

I chose to run,

Even faster, despite my dry throat,

My unquenchable thirst fueling my fire to write,

I chose to run,

Till my sweat and tears could rock your boat,

Hoping we’d embrace the chaos and set everything right,

 

I chose to run,

For I knew sleep would come for me one day,

And I‘d see it coming like this finish line,

I chose to run,

For I am the decisions I make, you say,

And I’ll persevere until the end of time,

 

I chose to run,

For in my habit of never leaving anyone behind,

I got left behind, to fight my own battles,

I chose to run,

And finish the 5K in twenty five, I’d find,

Just like this poem I wrote, sandcastles,

 

I chose to run for the same duration,

On an asphalt covered road,

And write on autopilot mode,

 

I chose to run,

And realized, I would never get my way,

Trapped in a cycle, like the night after day,

 

And yet I chose to run,

Flawed, hurt, broken, I survived,

For such petty things couldn’t hurt my pride.

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