This poem is a dark piece on an atheist going through the pangs of believing and not believing; blurring the line between reality (his tumultuous relationships) and the machinations of his mind (conversations with God). Written using lyrics and references from around 25 different Linkin Park songs, and as a tribute to Chester Bennington, this is a poetic take on what kind of downward spiral, depression can throw one into.


Awaiting a burst of light,

That’d blind every angel,

I suppressed every shriek of fright,

Trying to find a way gainful,


I’m done, living a thousand lies,

And it’s about time I face myself,

My patience worn out by your alibis,

Your words lost in the echo of darkness,


I might be at the wake of devastation,

Hanging off the edge of the unknown,

You once used to be my only protection,

Now entrapped by the insecurities I’ve sown,


Engulfed In the smoke of bridges I’ve burned,

I feel the heartless wind still blowing,

If there’s something I’ve never learned,

It’s that some lines aren’t worth towing,


You claimed that solutions weren’t so simple,

Declared that goodbye was the only way,

The truth in your lies; distinct like a cymbal,

Your words said what you couldn’t say,


And I got lost in the nothingness inside of me,

Replaying all those vivid-vacant memories,

Refusing to acknowledge that I was the enemy,

Time began to blur; unaccustomed to vagaries,


I hear the forsaken clock tick life away,

I see the clouds move closer, dissatisfied,

I sense the growing shadow of the day,

Drown out any hope I had left inside,


Two worlds collide on the inside,

And the ocean bleeds into the sky,

As I play with this vial of cyanide,

Going over what happened and why,


You swept me off; your undertow,

And I stumbled down the steps of pain,

As they lowered me; alive, underground,

They showed me how to be whole again,


I tried trading this life for something new,

And starting over as if nothing ever was,

For I knew this Sun will set for you too,

For you, perhaps, in a mighty applause,


I witnessed the final masquerade,

A light going out among a million stars,

No one on the receiving end of goodbyes I bade,

Before leaving a life that was never ours.



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